Primate – REVIEW – GenMovi

There’s something wrong with Ben. And there is something wrong with January. What is generally considered a bathroom break in Hollywood actually has some really great films coming out. No other choice is one of the best films of 2025 and it’s finally seeing a wider release in America, 28 years later: the Temple of Bones follows it right behind, and then there is Primate. A movie about a funny monkey that becomes less funny. This is the film that made Grace Randolph go out without finishing it. Now you’re probably wondering “Who is Grace Randolph“, but what you should be asking yourself is “How bad is this?” Well, on the surface, this seems like another attempt by Blumhouse to make a quick buck with… wait, isn’t this a Blumhouse movie? Well, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle. So this is actually a creature feature from Paramount Pictures, so I would have to assume it would be better than the average Blumhouse movie. And you know what, it’s… a little.

Primate is a very simple animal attack movie about a group of stupid teenagers trapped in a house with a rabies-stricken chimpanzee. Just the fact that I say that probably gives you enough of an idea of ​​how this plays out. But believe it or not, I don’t really hate this stuff. I mean, I can’t say I like it either. It’s incredibly generic, predictable and sometimes uninteresting, but there are elements that won me over. There are some well-executed moments of tension and some very fun and knotty gore. It’s certainly competent and tries to leave an impact on the viewer, but let’s unpack this barrel full of monkeys further to see if it’s worth spending your hard-earned banana on.

First, the positives. I won’t say it’s really star-making for any of the actors involved, but you know what, they all do well with what they’re given. What they’re given isn’t really much, but they manage to at least present themselves as mostly ordinary humans rather than just boring caricatures designed to be killed. None of this applies to Troy Kotsur however, which I’m always happy to see appear in something. And honestly, it’s pretty cool to see someone from his background play a role in a genre film like this that isn’t just about his disability. But the film doesn’t hide from it either, and there’s actually a pretty effective scene surrounding his lack of hearing that takes place during the climax that I found myself digging a bit.

The film is unfortunately a little light on real tense moments, but it somehow manages to make up for it with some pretty solid kills. I know it’s not a Blumhouse film, but I was half expecting their limp-wristed, punch-pulling style of murder. But it’s rated R, baby. We see people having their faces torn off, their jaws torn from their skulls, and their heads crushed with a rock. And the film doesn’t shy away from showing it either. It doesn’t get too gratuitous, but it at least gives the sick people in the audience something to salivate over. If I had to criticize them a little, some of them are underlit and very close together to the point where you can barely tell what you’re seeing. Give us our blood, dammit! Plus, a pretty solid monkey! From what I can tell, he’s a guy in a suit for the most part, and that makes the whole thing a little more realistic, believe it or not.

And, you know, if that’s enough for you, then maybe you’ll have a good time with it. But, as someone who has seen it all since Anaconda has Meth Alligatornone of this really impressed me. I will give the film some credit, it doesn’t waste its time with the BS and gets into the action pretty quickly. It’s nice, but at the same time it gives a feeling of emptiness to the film. The characters don’t have much to say and the film establishes a conflict that doesn’t really have an outcome. Things like the main character’s enemy inserting himself into his plans and the MC having family tension after mother’s death aren’t used at all in the story later. It seems like these moments were included to flesh out the characters, but it all ends up being relatively unimportant in the grand scheme of things. In fact, I was a little surprised to see that there was Nothing deeper in this film. I didn’t need it to be Chimp-azin Kane or Lawrence of Ape-rabia or anything, but I was a little shocked that there wasn’t anything to take away from it. For example, owning monkeys is still a controversial thing these days, and the movie doesn’t really seem to act like it’s a bad thing. I guess the message here isn’t to joke about rage, but the movie doesn’t even present it in a realistic light.

But maybe I am the stupid baboon for expecting something like this in the first place. I guess I could have asked for it to be a little scarier, since I didn’t really find it that tense. Not because I knew most of these characters weren’t going to succeed, but because there were a lot of contrivances to infuse some form of tension into it all. For example, if the monkey was in rage mode the whole time, I would find it scarier. Like a relentless zombie, it would have been much more difficult to avoid and contain, requiring characters to get creative to survive it. But Ben’s mood and intentions are constantly changing depending on what will make the scene work, drawing out his nastiness just so a character can grab something important to the plot. For me, it’s just not very tense.

But look, this East exactly what we’re talking about here. It’s a simple but bloody creature feature that might not offer the biggest thrills, but the silly brutality behind it all makes it at least watchable. There’s definitely a much worse direction this thing could have gone in, and I’m grateful for that, but I don’t think there’s anything here that really makes me want to return to it. Well, maybe that weirdly sensual, red-lit thing where Ben pins this guy to the bed and sticks his fingers in his mouth. Frame. Come on, Ben, buddy. I had just recovered from my Candy Kong addiction.

RATING